Urine on the Floor

The wholesome image of the 9th floor bathroom at 9:30am has been tarnished and so have my 'formerly-known-as-smazing-shoes'. Like any overutilized restroom, it becomes increasingly unsanitized throughout the day. However, typically until 10 am'ish the toilets and surrounding areas are sort of like an untapped resource, at least from the night before after the cleaning lady sanitizes them. To my dismay, this morning that image in my head disappeared.

Around 9:30am I entered the women's bathroom in hopes to be the first to put down the seat (for us girls, that is reassurance we are using a clean stall because only the cleaning lady lifts it when she sanitizes it). But the lid had already been placed back down and (brace yourselves) there was urine sprinkled all over the ground. And I was standing in it. So this made me question where my shoes have been and what my shoes have touched, those poor cute little things have been tainted.

I stand in urine;
not my own.
I am sorry dear shoes;
You are now filthy creatures;
Soiled, corrupt, adulterated, damged once goods.

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Update Coming Soon...

On Senator Larry C.: denying his public bathroom incident
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Cell Phone in Stall -- Such Talent

Seriously? Why? Why is it necessary that the disgusting fowl woman currently sitting on the toilet in the handicap stall (who, by the way is not handicapped at all) of the 9th floor lavatory located at 999 Ponce de Leon Blvd is yapping away on her cell phone while taking what smells like a ____?!

I just do not get it.
Did someone tell her that is acceptable?
And who is she talking to while doing her business?
Does that person know the shiz she is up to?
Is that person cool with hearing her funky sounds?

While I am not quite sure what she is speaking of since it is in Miami native tongue (Espanol) I can only pick up bits and pieces. To the best of my knowledge Dirty Woman is conversing about her dinner recipe... arroz con pollo. She mentioned something about her mamas recipe pero this one is mejor. Eww.

I want to hurl;
never touch her cell;
it is funky and so is she;
all should know;
give her purell
for Christmas.
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Insight Into my Thoughts

We all have random, absurd, odd thoughts from time to time. We all do. After all, our ability to process complex thought patterns is the very core of what makes us a superior life form. Just because we are capable of thinking doesn't imply we should voice them at inappropriate moments, particularly the odd and absurd ones. That is where society and "taboos" come to play. As my mom always told me, "Lauren, there is a time and a place for everything". So in time I have realized, perhaps a blog is the best outlet to voice my thoughts (opinions) and unfortunate experiences all relating to nastiness of public restrooms.

Some of my Thoughts in the past have included issues such as, but not limited to, the following:

• Why do some insist on bringing coffee mugs or other opened beverages into public restrooms? Is that how e-coli begins?


• Even worse than open beverages, why must people brush their teeth in the bathroom at work after lunch? C'mon! Seriously!


• And what about the person in the next stall over from you, yapping away on his/her cell phone in a foreign language? Again, hello e-coli


• What about the moron who never washes his/her hands?


• Why do public bathrooms have the slit in the front of the seat but toilet seats at home do not? Like this....

As you can see, my Thoughts may not be of substance but they are of sincerest form. There is so much more where these came from...

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